since the... 'incident'...

i understand why my dad is the way he is (more). i know how he sees things in His World, and although its the most fucked up way a person's perspective can be, i'm no longer going to try to change it.. i dont think its my responsibility and maybe its not even my right. but it doesnt matter. im over it all, and im not expecting anything except what i can control. i dont hold any grudges i dont regret anything ive said or (possibly) done to him. now that he knows exactly what i think of him and exactly how much i do not respect him, neither care for him, theres nothing else that is unknown. its cool tho, because i think we both have realized that the constant arguing and occasional fights are meaningless. and that they dont solve anything.. im happy now =] because other than having to live under the same roof as him, hes out of my life. i dont need him, and i hope ill prepare myself well enough for my future that i wont need to go back to him.. ever.

i thank him for being enough of a bitch to me for him to be my motivation, for school. i know what i need to do, academically, to get away from him.. and also, i know exactly what Not to be (personality-wise). so.. thanks.

also, thanks to my dew, for coming up with the "work hard, play hard".. itll help me focus on school if youre doing it too. haha but on the more serious side, spanks for being there and caring so dam much about whether i was okay or not. it really did mean a lot.. i dont think you know how much. i dont think ive been that messed up.. ever, in my whole life. you picked me up and kissed all my owwies. i love you more for that <3